Moving on (again)

Well, it's that time again. My feet have become itchy, and I don't just mean from the infestation of bed-bugs, that I have still got. My VISA for India expires in a few weeks, so I have taken the opportunity to get my traveling knees oiled again. Yes tomorrow morning at 9am I am on the 50hr train up-north to Varanasi on route to Nepal and Kathmandu. Jay an American girl who finds herself an illegal alien is accompanying me to try and get her VISA sorted as well. I am in a bit of a rush actually for I have quite alot of dillying and a fair bit of dallying left to do before tomorrow morning. Mainly I need to finish this entry, get home for a shower (though I am trapped in the clinic, held hostage by monsoon rain at the moment), then off to the Taj Resedancy ICE bar for a big ex-pat boozethon.
Today I visited the local Jijayanagar post office to fire off some books back home, just in case I don't make my way back to Bangalore before pressing on off to euroland. While in the post office I was reminded exactly why I LOVE this country so much. Where else in the world would you walk into the post office to post book overseas and spend the next hr and a half in the PostMasters office drinking hot chai. I did feel a little bit bad, but only an incey bit about the Q of 200 people who where waiting to get served while we chatted and laughed about the food, family values, the weather, education, my folks, the Kannada language film industry and his children studying over seas. The PostMasterGeneral is all powereful in his domain. He personally modified and crafted a box and packed my books like they were the crown jewels. Today was a really great day, wherever I went I got smiles, head wobbles and pure generosity. This place makes my head hurt sometimes, it's so contradictory. The post office experience was so good that I hardly realized that 3hrs and 50mins had passed, yes that's right it takes nearly 4hrs to post 4 books overseas, and that's with the personal attention of the PostMaster himself. On a down side I have put back on the 6Kg I lost during my 2 week fast, though the last 3Kg I put on in the last week, I think I might have a tapeworm.
Well there is not much more to write. I may be back in Bangalore after I get my VISA, but a voice inside also tells me that once I am "on top of the world" in Shangara-la I may very well carry on into China and to the place where the Mongaloids are from. Who knows.
Bye for now.



Poo, I nearly forgot to do the July Edition of Culture Corner, it's a good job I did it last week so all I have to do is cut and paste.


Culture Corner July 2007
For todays edition of "Culture Corner" I have decided to give you all a concise insight into Indian-English language usage.

Indlish language
In these modern times of American imperialism we are all aware, either actively or sometimes passively of the Americanization of the English language. Of course the laws that govern the development of a language are the very same that assure the development and progression of mother natures creatures, that of evolution and the survival of the fittest. Language mutates, deviates, develops and adapts to its environment. It is dynamic and just follows the natural flow of civilizations and society. I feel it is pointless, fruitless and indeed even naively arrogant and stupid to try and fight this flow. Time would be better spent studying this beautiful law of nature at work. I feel that English is perhaps the most dynamic language to study. I say this mainly because it's the only language I am fluent in and also because I have a certain degree of common sense. It is the most spoken 2nd language of the world.
We are all aware of some of the more dramatic adaptation that popular American culture has imposed on English. Sidewalk = pavement, bad= good, elevator = lift and so on. There are of course many more local variations. Australian English also has its own slant, though I think a lot less serious and more fun/youth based, with less aggression and angst than the American versions. Of course the aussie versions have had far less time to deviate from the original, whatever that was (considering there are hundreds of dialects with in the British isles themselves).
So you may be wondering what the bloody hell am I on about? Why do I not do a blog entry for over a month than start rambling about flavors of English? Well I am coming to my point. I have been exposed to Indian English for over 10 months and and its has slowly dawned on me now unique it is. Only only has it had far less time to deviate from the original, but its development is totally unique when we think about how and why they are speaking English to start with. Firstly, for most it is a second language and sometimes 3 or 4th. But, the Indians that speak English have a full handle and full vocabulary within their own realm. Some of the words are totally unique to the Indian version rather then less used elsewhere. There are a lot of really old fashioned Victorian words still in use, that really tickle me to hear them. In a country where there are over 26 official languages with at least 4-5 semi-different dialects of each language, there is one official national language, Hindi. Oddly, English is rapidly replacing Hindi has the national language. Many English words are spliced into everyday usage, very much like the French use, Shopping and Le weekend and like we use Kindergarten and cul-de-sac and rendez-vous. Most of the shop signs and bill boards here are exclusively in English not Hindi or the state language. I have however noticed that there is no resistance to being Englishised, in fact all school lessons after the age of 10 are in English, so if your child can not speak the language he/she will not progress at school.

So this brings me to my point I feel I mush share. I have decided to start a dictionary for English-English - Indian-English.

I feel it would be useful for anyone coming to visit. The usage of the Indian-English words can be broken into several categories in terms of their evolution.
Firstly, exclusively used words, invented that have been adapted from their own native languages. Then there are some very old Victorian words no longer in use in British English. Thirdly, there are some words that have been established from a basic misunderstanding from some ancient teachers. Then there are some artificially introduced words by the government. Finally a category that eludes even my attentive mind. I have not managed to work out any logical reason for this final category to be in existence.
It also took me many many months to realize that I should not try and correct people using Indian-English. I felt initially that some of the variations where so different that they needed to be fixed. Then I came to slowly realizes that many Indians are not using English to communicate with native English speakers, but amongst each other, from one state to the next, rather than using Hindi.

Words I have managed to translate so far. I have called them Indianisms. If you don't use the Indian version you will not be understood. Also it helps to say the words with your tongue as far back in your mouth as possible. I have started off my English-Indian dictionary of words and popular phrases. Mahesh and Seems and Kiren (Seema's brother) have offered to help me with my latest project, I feel a best seller coming on. A must to accompany the rough guide, to read and digest on the flight over. There is nothing worse than speaking English (especially if you're a euro and using it as a 2nd language) and then not be understood.

If you need the toilet it is best to ask for the Latrine. If you get asked about tiffin, it means a snack or tea-break. This you seen in the train-stations on the window, "tiffin break at 2pm. There is only one other place you are likely to hear the word tiffin, and that in the movie "Carry on up the Kyber". Also they have curds and not yogurt (only heard in the old nursery rhyme "Little miss Muffet"). My favorite Indianism by a long stretch is "eatables" meaning food. This is more common in the south of India than the north. Bikes and scooters are two-wheelers. Cars are four-wheelers.
It's not just the single words, but whole sentences that catch me off guard and I miss a few beats before can work out what is being asked of me. I have had to learn the local English to be understood with more success.


Indianisms

Eatables = Food (Don't take eatables off strangers on the train, they may be drugged)
Latrine = Toilet (Particularly useful in rural areas)
I'll be back in a min = I will go and come
This is because in Kannada (Bangalore language), they can not say I will go and not see you again. So they say I will go and come back. The result in Kannada-English is that they will "go and come"
2 wheeler = Motorbike (government introduced wording)
2 wheeler = Scooter
4 wheeler = Car
Expired = Died (Sadly my wife expired last year)
Curds = Yogurt (old fashioned word)
Tiffin Break (snack) = Tea break (Tiffin break at 2pm)
Current = Electricity (There is no current, following the thrice daily power-cut)
Corn-flakes = Any breakfast cereal
Red colour = Red
Blue colour = Blue
What's that one? = What's that?
Take bath = Have a wash (somewhere down the line bathe has been mixed up with bath). Beware that there is no actual bath, just somewhere to bathe.
Hand-wash = Sink
Cot = Bed
Hotel = Restaurant (if you see a sign that say hotel, it is not a hotel, but somewhere to eat only)
Bed = Mattress
More costlier = Expensive
Petrol bunk = Petrol station
Britisher = British
What is your native place = Where are you from
Your good name Sir = What is your name
Teasing = Taking the piss
Battery = Torch (Particularly rural, for in the villages the only time they have seen a battery it is in a torch)
Reachables = Items within reach
Sugarless = No sugar
Tomorrow = Never
In 15 mins = Next week (if I remember)
Yes no problem = I have already forgotten about it
It pains me = It hurts
I don't relish it = I don't like