The Sleepless Sleeper

I have just got back from a 10hr overnight sleeper bus journey. The bed was fine, but impossible to sleep because of the state of most of the roads.
I had to share a double bed with the boy-assistant of the clinic. He can not speak any English, every time I looked over he just stared like a reject from Sesame Street (plus a trainee-tash of course). Sorry if that sounded mean, for he is a nice lad really.



We went miles to another rural clinic. This time it was "proper" India. Paddy fields, edge of a rain forest, wild elephants and leopards.
I stayed with the extended family of my hosts. They are farm owners and after being fed well settled down to 6 in a room on the floor.


In the morning the hot water for the shower was heated by a real fire the water was drawn from a well inside the stables where the mandatory holy cows lived.
The water was so pure I imagined if I pulled a poisoned arrow from my chest, just a splash would have healed the wound as I looked on in disbelief.


Even the spiders in the toilet were friendly. In fact the one I saw (close your eyes Sam) was so big I 1st apologized for I thought the room was occupied and they had just forgot to put the latch on.


I was the guest on honor, and they rolled out the straw mat especially.
I now know how the fois gras ducks feel. If they like you they constantly feed to from the moment you arrive to the moment you leave. And of course saying no is not an option.


The hospitality was the warmest I had felt, true nice, pure people.

In the morning I had a wander around the farm and took some pictures, pure fresh air and countryside. Roy, this is how you palm trees will grow if you lead a purer existence.


We headed back down the road where I saw wild monkeys....(ordinary monkeys I was told) just as “Old-Ben-Kenobi” was arriving with the rest of the exiled Jedi to pick the rice.


On day 2 of the clinic I saw over and over again people with dangerously high blood sugar being reduced to normal levels and coming off their drugs for reducing blood sugar. This is the norm with Maheshs’ treatment.

I did see a horrible case of a 7yr old boy where his skin was horrendously burnt by falling into a vat of hot sugar on a farm.


Oh and the girl we treated a week ago for the brain tumor dislodged by her teacher hitting her (she had a scan before she came to see us, but the results came out now). Well we were hoping she would go into a high fever (a good sign of recovery).
She did just this and she also opened her eyes properly and started to speak. Her family was over whelmed for she was on the way to recovery.
We asked if her normal Dr would give her a glucose infusing for she could not eat. We specifically asked for no drugs for this would interfere with her treatment.
Unfortunately, the Dr also infused her with anti-fever drugs to bring it down the fever and within mins she went into a coma.
Such a shame, a wasted case.
The parents live far away so we have sent new treatment to try and stimulate her again (rather than suppress) in the hope it is not too late to bring the fever back and hence her recovery.
We'll see, she was A hopeless case to start with and her one sign of recovery was ruined by a well meaning Dr. No one though she would live more than 2 days.

On a more cheery note. TONIGHT I am heading into town. Two weeks without a break, I need a break. I will go see some temple thing, then walk past the Government building and some other stuff before getting hammer-smashed in some bars on the world famous Mahatma Gandhi Road.
As you can see Plan A = Sightseeing + booze. It is always best to include the mandatory Plan B within Plan A, then there is no chance of disappointment.

Oh and I nearly forgot. I now have an India mobile number, so feel free to txt/call.
+919900825217

Dear Diary

Dear diary.......ha ha...always wanted to write that. Well it's been a week since I got to Bangalore.

I have mainly been seeing patients, so not that interesting to write about if anyone is reading. In the past 7 days I have seen over 220 patients, an average of 30 a day. Ailments ranging from colds to cancer from sciatica to lacerated feet.

The clinic specializes in 3 main areas, non-insulin dependent diabetes, spastic/autism children and what is commonly known here as "white spot". This is where the skin loses its pigmentation in patches. Shocking, I have even seen one girl, white all over and I thought she was European. They feel and get treated like lepers with this complaint and it is more common than I thought and by conventional medicine incurable. I have in 1 week seen with my own eyes pigmentation returning and blood sugar levels dropping.

Michel Jackson I now believe you, though not sure how it makes your nose fall off.

Yesterday we saw a 7yrd old girl. She was in a vegetable like state after her teacher hit her. She rapidly declined over 15 days to her present state. She could not speak, she could only open one eye and she was drooling and could not hold her head up. Though she could respond to some questions with a mumble. It was very sad. We will see tomorrow if she has reacted to the remedy. I can not see how such a hopeless case can show any improvement.
I have been videoing lots of cases for good documentive evidence.

Anyway, enough of the adult stuff.

Here is a pic of some flowers, a 15 day festival started yesterday, to respect and remember the dead I think.



I have not eaten meat in 2 weeks, and I'd like to say I feel better for it, but I don't. Also since not one restaurant serves any alcohol I have not had a beer since I got to Bangalore. I went on a hunt for one the other night, but was sadly unsuccessful.

Today I went on a bus ride to a rural clinic, took over 5hrs each way and was "hell" for most of it. I think most people had never seen a "whitey" before. One man asked if the strange overseas expert was from China. Admittedly I was squinting at the time and holding onto the liquid explosive I was smuggling out of the city.



The mozzies are beginning to annoy me now I have about 10 bites per foot, only on my feet and there is some mozzie disease going around, spelt something like this chiquenguarfu, but pronounced chickenflu. Apparently it's in Delhi too, makes you tired and bones and joints ache for about 3-6 months. Would be crap I get that. So I have started wearing thick socks.

I made a new friend last night, a little pale green lizard. He might be in my room again tonight, I hope he eats mozzies.



Well I'm off for I've been invited by my host and his mate to go eat. I have asked for a meat restaurant (though no way am I eating meat), because there is more chance of getting a beer there.

B-Day

Last night the Dutch girl disappeared after one night, I later found out she could not cope with the area, I cannot understand why?

I did however think something bad might have happened to her, for my mind was active following the visit I had from the Police at 2am. I was woken up to find 5 of them at my door.
I was asked all kinds of questions before they took my details and said good night, bizarrely one even said "sweet-dreams".
The next morning I found it was routine police enquires looking for extremists. They have the government encouraged fear as bad as we do.

MORE IMPORTANTLY: Today is a day to rejoice, for two reasons. Firstly, I left Bombay behind. One week in this city is enough to test anyones sanity. I would though recommend a visit just for the pure experience. Where else could you see a goat give birth in the street, see a man with all over body lipomas (like perfect golf balls under his skin, all over including arms, chest and face) and meet Davros king of the Darleks?

Secondly, it is a special day for a major mile stone has been achieved. Today I passed my first "solid".


Admittedly only really the contents of a funsize packet of malteesers, but still you can not climb a mountain in a day.
I said goodbye to Dr Farok Master and his clinic and made my way to the "Gateway of India" on the coast for my 1st sightseeing experience.



Then met a new English friend, Daniel in a bar. Fresh off the boat he asked if I was English then asked if I would sit and talk to him. He is a bit of a toff and feaked out by Bombay. I gave him all my wealth of advice, especially the bit my dad told me about.

" no man has ever gone to India and returned with the same pair of shoes"

We arranged to meet the same evening when I also met Jim again and 2 more Englanders. One had a shocking case of conjunctivitis, where his eyes looked like he'd been in a boxing match, it spread from his left to his right as we sat drinking. That will teach him to rub his eyes with his left hand.




We had a good laugh and quite a few beers, after all I did not have to work the next day I was to fly to Bangalore.


A 1hr and 20mins after taking off I arrived in Bangalore. Dr Mahesh greeted me with a warm smile.
I soon came to realize that not all India is like Bombay. Bangalores' climate is perfect, warm and not humid and sticky. There were not hundreds of beggars outside the airport. I did not see any slums. It is all together a different place, a utopia compared to the hussle and bussle of Mumbai.
We drove for a hr to a town outside the centre (similar traffic rules apply so lots of horn beeping).

I have my own small private flat here on top of the roof above his home and clinic. Totally different.
I have just been fed, watered introduced to the family and will soon settle down for a good nights sleep without the smell of rotting bits outside my window.

This is what it was like each night outside my room in Mumbai.
http://s103.photobucket.com/albums/m128/craigtalbot72/videos/?action=view&current=mumbai_street.flv

Tomorrow is a day off, which is great for it's Dr Maheshs sons 4th birthday. I just helped him build a train track for his new toy train.



Tomorrow I think I will go explore the local town and maybe try and get a pike-as-you-go mobile phone.

Moustache TAX

Today I decided to put my Moustache TAX theory to the test. The theory is simple. There are two prices for goods, one price for those with a Moustache (Indians and Germans) and those without (everyone else).
I managed to keep the bit of brown carpet fluff on my upper lip for just long enough to buy a one litre bottle of water. Usually it costs me 14 Rs, today I got it for 11 (bartered from 12). From this experiment I can conclude that Moustache TAX is approximately 14-20%. Of course I should have done a wider pool for my research but my fake tash fell off and dropped in the gutter.

The dead man I saw yesterday was still in the same position, so I decided to take a closer look. His eyes were flickering so I concluded he was still alive. I left him 10Rs in his shirt pocket just as he opened his eyes.

It also rained today washing even more crap into the streets, though it was cooler as a result.

I have the afternoon off today so I will go and explore Mumbai in the day. I think I will go to “The Gateway to India” and the “Prince of Wales” museum.

I thought it would be nice to see a picture of a train from the bridge over Grant Road station and a picture of two of the many cows that rule the streets.

I have a new neighbour. A Dutch girl named Wilmer. I saw her at 9pm as I was heading into town for a beer. She looked like a startled rabbit. I kindly showed her where she can eat without dieing and what shop to buy water from; she looked a bit relieved to see another westerner. Tim the German fella from next door is going home today. He is very happy with his tan.

The Quest for the Missing Shoes

Today I had my shoes stolen from outside the clinic. I had to walk 1/2 a mile through the ghetto to buy a new pair. This is the 1st time anyone in the street has really taken any notice of me. Only an English man would be stupid enough to walk these streets with no shoes on.
I managed to get a new pair, bartered the man down from 1.20 to 80p.
Yesterday I went to see a 85yr old woman who had a very nasty ulcer on her leg that would not heal. She was also speaking much gibberish, even though I could not understand her language I could tell she was talking nonsense.
Unfortunately the most important aspect of the case was missed by her daughter and the Dr I was with. They all failed to notice her striking resemblance to Davros the creator and emperor of the DARLEK race.
Last night I got a knock on my door. Tim the ginger German boy next door came offering beer. Went down nicely. I did really well I only mentioned Hitler 17times, actually he mentioned him 1st before talking about his dislike for girls how use too much makeup.
I think I saw a dead man on the side of the road this morning on my way in, I could not be sure. Anyway I was thinking about buying a new cotton shirt so was distracted. It is surprisingly easy how quickly you adjust to such things when you're surrounded by them.
This is a view from Davros's apartment on the 17th floor. I think she is plotting to invade Earth and enslave us all, but is finding it a bit hard with her unhealing leg ulcer.

The first few days

After a relatively easy 8.5 hr flight; passage through customs was a doddle and I booked myself a prepay taxi to my hotel for 350Rs (approx 4 squids). At the 1st set of lights we went straight through beeping the horn madly. This is normal I came to realise. No rules driving, total chaos. At a junction in the city a boy of about 4 came to the window singing "jingle bells, jingle bells, santa rules, santa rules." He then tugged my shirt until a 200year old lady reached through the window as the taxi set off. In Grant road where my hotel is, there are no tourists, the only white face I have seen the 1st 2 days was my own in the mirror when I shave. On the way to the clinic I saw a 6month old baby in the gutter. I assume he was not abandoned for a 3 year old was sat near by. People sleep in the roads, the streets anywhere. Of course this is just one side. Last night I went downtown to Leopolds Cafe in Calaba. I sat down next to Jim who was on his 3rd traveling experience in India. I got a bit tipsy before making my way back to the hotel through the red light district, even at 2am the roads are packed with people milling around.

Every car beeps their horn all the time and all seem to want to prove it right outside my bedroom window. There are no traffic laws whatsoever. Keeping to their own side of the road is the only loose rule. Junctions are chaos. People don't use the pavements.

All in all, hotel room is very basic but secure and clean(ish). The hotel "boy" will do anything and get anything for 2Rs(3p).

My timezone and useful info. Especially if you need to know what time the sunset is (thanks Abi xxx)
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/city.html?n=44

Curry and rice and drinks and trimmings in local restaurant = 1 pound
1 litre of bottled water = 15p
Shirt = 50p
Pint of beer in flashy joint = 1 pound 90
death-taxi across town for 30mins = 80p

Saying Goodbye

With six weeks notice on my job and approx 8 weeks in total to what would end up being my departure date I felt like I had plenty of time to make preparations.Well time does fly, it has all been a bit of a rush.With all the boring adult bits to arrange like my TAX and flat and banks and collage etc slowly getting done there was also the much more important buinsness of saying goodbye.
I visited my bother and his family in Bristol for little Sophie naming ceremony, moved out of my flat and into my friends Roys spare room with 2 weeks still left to work.Then onto my leaving party where after approx 9pm I remember nothing except being to drunk to even pick my mobile phone up off the taxi floor. Yes I did leave it there which really annoyed me later when I remembered how stupid I was.
Managed to get "le train" to role again. This is the silly name for when I go cycling with Simon and Adrian. Managed to get 65miles in the morning before my leaving drinks. Might explian why I was able to sleep on Scots floor with no problems if I was that tired.
A similar memory loss happened at my Work/City leaving drinks where apparently I like to bite people when smashed, news to me. All in all a lot of goodbyes in lots of different places in and around London and lots of rushing around.

I visited my Grandad in Blackpool where he was waiting to be taken for a drink with his coat on as we arrived. Managed to finished his 1st pint before I had hardly wet my lips. Not bad for 80..I think.Said goodbye to the rest of my family and friends and made my way back from Manchester to London, just in time to catch a flight to Ibiza for one last "fandango" with Stevo, Roy and Alison. This time did not do any jumping off the villa roof into the pool, so tried wake boarding instead with Roys' cool speed-boat, wicked fun.
AND WHERE THE HELL DID ROBBIE DISAPEAR TO?
Now back in London and packing my bag, I leave in 2 days, just got some fea/mite spray and wash bag to get. No more dinners, BBQs, football matches, boozers, casinos. No more drinking and lots of early nights. I'll fix Lees' computer tonight and see a special friend tomorrow and all done.