The Art of Cheating

The last 10days have been quite eventful.

• I Gave my first presentation at an international conference
  
• I appeared on Indian TV
• Had a personal phone call from the worlds No.1 homeopath
• Finalized the plans for the clinic expansion
• My brother confirmed he is coming to visit
• Made some new German friends
• Learned more about pigeons
  
• Got tenants in my London flat
• I got to practice my Kannada language skills
  
• Paid my first police bribe

So where to start? Well as you know I've been working with Dr Mahesh for quite a while on this visit and when I was here last year. We have decided to expand the clinic for he is becoming far too popular and he needs more Drs working with him. We have chosen a place even the design. It's all moving fast. Along with this kind of work I have been documenting and editing video cases of patients before, during and after treatment. We all know the camera never lies.
I have put together a very impressive library showing the most dramatic cases. Incidentally, all of them are labeled "incurable" by conventional medicine. Perhaps I'll load them into google video soon. Anyway, with the "incurable" cases of gangrene limbs (30min before amputation) he gets the blood flowing and ultimately saves the arm, hand, legs etc. Also retarded/autistic children regaining some function to have a better quality of life (and their parents too). Cured cases of psoriasis and vitiligo. Sorry kinda boring for most people. Anyway we both presented these cases at the "International Conference for Scientific Validation and Technical Evaluations of Ancient Medical Systems" - SVTEAMS for short. It went down a storm with lots of feedback, questions and of course a fair portion of aggression and jealousy. See every other group was "talking" about what they were going to do and what was possible, we actually "showed" the videos and photo results of the treatment. blah blah. My TV appearance (only 5secs) followed. What fun. The conferences chief guest was someone with a big beard and a lot of hair. He has developed something called "the art of living", but from strolling in over an hour late at the inauguration he had defiantly perfected the Indian art of doing nothing and being late.

On a lighter note, "our-kid" my brother Lee is coming in a couple of weeks for some fun with his mate Dan. So what to do? ummmmm.... it's getting pretty hot in the south now and the pre-monsoon rain will be here soonish. Anyway, it will all work out. It will be good to get away for another short holiday, I've been working too hard.
I finally found some tenants for my London flat, my old ones have sadly gone back home to Israel. Special thanks to Katharine for fixing me up with my new tenants, even though I had to pay more in commission than the national debt of a medium sized African country she really broke the estate agent mold and delivered the goods in style. And a super SPECIAL thanks once again to mum and dad for zooming down to London to fix up my flat for the next tenants. A serious reduction of stress there.

This week some naughty editor on Wikipedia decided to delete lots of pages in relation to homeopathy. So being as resourceful as I am, I started tracking through the logs and found the whole history; who/what/when/why and sent the details to Mahesh teacher whose pages was one to be deleted this man also happens to be the father of modern Classical Homeopathy. The Elvis of alternative medicine.
I was only trying to help and now I'm on first name terms. Nice bonus.
See, be good and honest in all that you do and God will provide. Not quite sure what I will be provided with; for I don't really need anything, but I have a feeling something interesting is around the corner.
My social life has also picked up as I settle into Bangalore life. I know my way around the centre and it only takes me 30mins on the motorbike to get from the centre to the clinic (before took me nearly 2hrs for I kept getting lost). Also I have discovered more bars and cool restaurants. This city actually has quite a lot to offer in terms of social and night life. I do however owe much of my new discoveries to my new German friends Martin and Katrine.
Yesterday, the three of us visited the national park just south of Bangalore.
There they had a nice zoo, almost as disgraceful as London zoo. They had some white rabbits, 7 breeds of pigeon, and the 3rd largest aquarium in Indian; which housed seven 4x3 foot water tanks. One which was full of snalious-commonus and one labeled SHARK fish.
The safari was however a lot better than the zoo. We saw tigers, white tigers, bears and elephants. Cooooool.
After a long weekend I ventured into town again to take back a wireless modem...sorry boring I know. As I reached the lights at the junction of Mahatma Ghandi Road and Brigade Road I decided to cross the yellow line between the lanes and zip into a neat parking spot. Just as I thought my brilliant maneuver had been successful I got a tap on the shoulder from a white dressed traffic police man. Dammit. Apparently I had committed a most disgraceful crime to humanity. After stepping to the pavement and discussing with one of his street "boys" I negotiated the "fine" from Rs300 to Rs150, was taken to the side to hand the money over away from the police man and then I got all my papers back.

I had been initiated. I had popped my bribe cherry. I now feel like one of the 1.1 billion.

On a cheating note, the petrol attendant man took Rs200 off me and only gave me Rs150 worth of petrol. A valuable lesson. NEVER ever EVER hand over your Rs before you have the petrol.
My developing skills in Kannada language came in handy.

"Petrol Kudoo, mosa" I shouted.

Which mean

"Give me Petrol you cheater."

I got my missing Rs50 of petrol.

Wedding Season

We were all glad to arrive in Bangalore. It had been a very busy week traveling around and seeing so much. We were welcomed by Mahesh and Seema and little Sonna. After a day we took an Auto into town to do some chores and take a look around. Just standing on the corner of Mahatma Ghandi road in central Bangalore was considered site seeing for wide eyes westerners. After a couple of days I put my mum and dad into an auto and off they went on their own. They were now Indian hardened and ready for their own adventures up north to Delhi, Agra, (Taj) Amritsar (Golden Temple) and back to Goa all in a week. It was better than great to see them and share some of my travels with them, it was sad to see them go.
I had already decided to stay in Bangalore for a few months and help Mahesh expand his clinic and do some more work here. Sunday was to be a big day in the Mahesh family. It was Children's Day at Sonnas school. Once again I was the only pink face there (well tanned face now). He dressed at Hanuman his favorite God. Hanuman the monkey God. Directly after the show we rushed off to the wedding reception of Mahesh best friend Senna. I have known Senna for a while now and we had had a mini stag on Friday night. Not quiet the eyebrow ball-bag shaving, tied naked to a lamp post, thrown in the canal type of stag night I was used to, but it was still good and actually very appropriate for India. We had chillied cauliflower and drank one beer each in a very seedy bar about 2KM from where I am staying. I tried my best to convince him not to do it but he was looking forward to married life so much. The evening reception came before the wedding and was a typical Indian wedding, so I was told. Both bride a groom stood on the stage while 100s upon 100s of guest came to shake his hand and smile at her wishing them both many blessing. Their smiles fixed in a permanent grimace after hours of smiling and greeting. They looked nervous, not surprising since this was only the second time they had ever met. The next morning at 6am, on the actually wedding day there was about half the number of people, only about 100, and once again I was the only non-Indian. I'm getting used to the stares now, the blank vacant looks I get wherever I go. Just the other day in the mini-market the cashier wanted to shake my hand and would not let go, in the end I had to make a run for it, 4 other staff members and the manager had come out to shake my hand and great me and take pictures. At the wedding I was the guest of honor and had several strong apologies for the wedding being at 6am which meant I was "deeply inconvenienced" having to get up so early. I said it was fine and I accepted their apologizes after all how can I take more importance than the bride and groom on their special day and take more importance than the wedding time in relation to the horoscopes. The groom was more anxious today. A couple of night before (on the Stag he had reveled why). He had heard his sister was coming. This freaked him out for his sister had threatened to ruin his wedding because Senna had refused to marry her daughter. YES that's right he was supposed to marry his niece 10yrs his younger. He was understandably horrified by this. Now I had heard of this kind of stuff before and had seen the results of consummation of such marriages in the clinic when cousins and uncle/nieces had brought their retarded children in to be treated. This I expected of villagers but not from a modern city like Bangalore. I guess traditions are hard to change. Luckily she came and blessed the wedding by having her feet bathed or rise poured on them or something I could not really see. A few days later Seena brought his new bride around for dinner. A fine choice I thought. A very nice girl, very polite and friendly. I feel a child will be along shortly.

After a week or so I'm now settling back into the swing of things, the crazy traffic the horns everything. Each morning, afternoon and evening is filled with the sound of wedding music . It is the season for marriages. Something to do with a old woman and a bucket of beans I think. I get confused about as and why with many rituals and traditions.
And this is a picture I took of the front of a public bus, I have no idea what the celebration was, but look pretty dangerous to drive like that.